First there was one, then another
They were cold and frightened from the sleeting snow
They had little ribbon bows tied on their feet with bells
You were delighted but I was the most delighted
I fed them corn from my hand
They pecked about on the snowy barn mantel
That was dry and warm with hay
Their feet were cold because they had nowhere to land
They looked at me peacefully
It was Christmas Day. In communion we sat
Resting our bodies from the winter cold
Companions in a barn are a blessing from God
For God knew what He was doing
Around us the seeping of ice thaws and cars in the distance
The feel of my hand in yours
They put their wings together and closed their eyes and rested
God makes miracles
For the littlest creature was loved enough
For God was watching over all things
He led the boy home and put him in bed
Then wrapped him in an electric blanket
He served him mashed potatoes, roast chicken and stuffing
With a little cranberry sauce and some juice
He gave him a wife with a warm heart
And two friends to keep him company
Long slow days resting under the christmas tree
And warming oneself by the heater
Hot mug of coffee for those that had come
And cheerful burbling of conversation
Ladies and Lords coming and going
People greeting one another and giving gifts
He closed his eyes and curled up in a little ball
And I made myself some coffee with sugar
We lay still and listened to the earth turning
As it shifted about its axis
Creaking like a sailboat in the harbor
He gave us a market to sell our embroidery
We made these little gifts made of wire and tinsel
We made them together ourselves
People came from far and wide
And read our news and notes
It was a good life and God was here
And we rested with the Lord in His Sanctuary
Many long winters and many long snows
Much peace fell about our door
The throwers of stones put down their stones
And walked away sorry
For you and I have been on a great adventure
So let us both retire
For we have seen the walls of the kingdom
May we lift his name on high
Oh God that remembered us in his Cathedral
Oh Holy Cathedral Divine
Praise be to the God that works with us
As we plan the events of our futures
Praise be to God for all these presents
That we open with eager hands
Presents full of gold and red paper
And ribbons and jewels and lace
These are the most loveliest presents
This feast is divine
I lay with a full belly of mashed potatoes
And think about how much God loves me
May our deeds grace God to thank him
For He is Good
I close my eyes and send my passions
Down seeping into the earth
Earth of all lost things
The earth under the crystalline crust of snow
The dizzying height of one who can fly
Your gift and my gift are handprints in the snow
But I am lain sore and low by now
I've learned that God does not want to change his ways
God is terrible and dark in His Will
God's Will is often to torture his children
But Yet, it is God's Will
I have learned that the hard way
I lay in the still deep shadows
Nursing the wounds that I have earned
My body broken with punishments
I cannot go any further in my pursuits
But when I see children laugh and smile, then I smile too
Then I know that I did the right thing
I feel, when I see people having fun around me
That my footpaths on the earth were not in vain
My spirit goes to dwell with them
Where there is much joy
My body has become a lump of clay
It is by now deformed and weak
A veteran of a cause I fight alone
When my body shames me I look at those around me
And then my heart soars along with them
No sorrows too great, little one, to bear
No sorrows, no sorrows
But you are a child of the most high and triumphant
He whose wheels scrape across the sky
He who whisps the cloths into shapes
He who plans your destiny
Maybe not all Good, but He is God
He does want His beings to suffer
It is His Will and His Will is natural
And anything that counters God is unnatural
The planet all singing together
No sea nymphs for the hero of the night
No pretty papers for the mother's duckling
No warm towels to wash yourself with
No age spots to soothe your pain
No sylph to awaken your inner dream
No balm that is cold and soothing
Your life, like my life, will be flickered out
And someday we will all rest under the stars together
My body is deformed and ugly now
But I feel deeply proud of my choices
Peace to the grey bird outside your window
Peace to the bird that sings all night long
Long tranquil days of sadness and prayer
We keep vigil until we, too are taken under
One day we will all lay under the stars of heaven
And think about what we have done
I don't think anything should be done right now
I have finally realized that God is too cruel to make a change
God wants us all to suffer
He set up the world to make the people suffer
And his ways have designed a world where we can suffer
When we fight suffering, we are fighting God
So I just break bread together and pray
Breaking bread is in its way one meaning of life
We are not supposed to be too happy
All alone, the sea's wide whirls
Are pelting down her hair upon the sea
Wicked ways often go unnoticed
So use your judgement and discretion
Let your gaurdian angel protect you
Be of a prayerful stance
Be someone who accepts suffering
God wants us to accept the fact of pain
In my pain, the upspringing of thousands of beautiful flowers
Maybe there is something about pain
Something enduring in pain to understand
I try to listen to pain
When I listen to my pain I pray about it
And then I break bread with the one I love
Then go to sleep under a sea of stars
At peace with my creator
Far away, on the edge of the sea
At the banks of the land of sleep
Where fishes play in the warm bathwaters
And roil on the surface of the sparkling water
The sparkling water that goes in and out
And knows all things about its creatures
It knows when creatures are in need of things
Or where their hearts are lingering
The waters that read the minds of those
Who bathe in its shimmering tides
It grasps the cold fish in its understanding hands
And holds them closely to it
Love for that which understands
And that which lives within its being
The fish sing the song of the sea
And by the night they sleep under the heavens
The heavens which show the depth of breadth
The creatures that move among its shadows
Are not unlike the fish of the sea
Are not unlike the does of the forest
The does which have no claim to their lives
But are hunted as a prey
The predator that hunts them on its property
For man has dominion over the earth
The earth and her seas and forests
Perhaps not god-given but claimed
Man is just another animal
All die in the end
The dragon of gold and red which dances
Up and down like a gilted snake
Her gills are not unsusceptable to arrows
She too is vulnerable to swords
The weapons of man that kill her body
Are something dumb that understands not
Soon all her energies will become one with the ocean
For she is a hunted animal
Her body cannot outlast the predator
And she, too will die from her form
her body will become dust
Her energy will have to take another form
That which kills is chasing the prey animal
As it runs across the plain
This energy of chasing and being devoured
Is fueling the turning of the earth
The rising and falling of your lover's breast
When he is in the heat of passion
But love does not last for eternity
All love is eventually taken away
No love will endure forever
Someday it will be time to pay the piper
If you give god sacrifices of things left over
Then maybe God will forgive you
To run in her silky hair as she glides
Over a plain that mirrors the face of all things
This light is temporary and fleeting
Soon this light will be put out
The thing that hunted it will go on
It will outlive that which it has killed
No other way out but death
If only there had been a way out
In the teeth of dogs is the dove I loved
He will not live much longer either
A muck eater on the low levels of the forest
Your light and my light lost in time
No one knows where the line runs out
No one knows how long there is
The fish swim on in the sparkling sea
I will love you until the end
Slow moving through the veins
The sluggishness in the blood
Stilled like a dove with its wings pinned
I lay looking at you calmly
You could destroy me with a flicker
Or you could become the love of my life
I see you are not impressed enough with me
To do anything passionate
The wind blows about my legs like an excited child
The wind wants to go on an adventure
The wind wants to make me laugh
And wander without measure
I see, but seeing I am silent
Like padding over the snow
The pain you caused me grew in me
Until I bore the flowers of hatred
The thicket has been bugged for some time now
It is no longer safe at home
But my home will be the rusty wind
And I will blow about and cause things
I smile when I see you still alive
I helped you escape your enemies
And found you a place to lay you down
I cared for you like an injured hawk
Your happiness is my happiness
Maybe you'll be safe awhile
The days that stretch before me are empty and lonely
Long days spent thinking to myself
Some slaves escape their captors somehow
So I am surviving this delerium
This disease has eased its merciless pace
I lay me down in the thicket
I lick my own wounds in a hungry way
For I am deeply grateful to be alive
If my life is spared I shall become an ascetic
And pray and think my days through
When children play my heart will soar
I will learn to forget you
The wind blows through my heart like breath
For I am becoming the wind
Whatever comes to take me down
I will be ready for whatever comes
The trumpets blow hard for me in heaven
They clarion calls out my name
I will hold my head high when I arrive
I will be proud and triumphant
On all things there is waiting
There is waiting in the leaves and in the sun
All around me, waiting for something to come
Little chipmunks are getting excited
The fish are hovering listlessly
The little duckies are laughing cheerfully
They have high hopes for the future
Everyone has high hopes for the future
Everyone wants to start again
Whispers of new love on the horizon
People are full of hope
Breaking to bits the thing that came
With hopes growing up through the earth
Nature is surviving the blows of death
Nature will yet outlive the curse
Music floats in from a balcony
A worried hound barks in alarm
Women hang up their wet laundry to dry
Babies are lulled to sleep
This small person sitting here
Was once a reason for the apocalypse
But maybe her eyelids were blessed
Maybe God will spare them from harm
When children play, there one is with them
The heart dances with its fellow man
Boots for the winter will keep out the cold
There will be enough for Christmas
Children will have mamas and papas to protect them
They can play in the light of the moon
Maybe I can focus on a new project
One that will bring in much change
This house full of ghosts is holding
It is weathering many storms
A place to come and pray
After what has happened here
Bells on my ankles and white linen around me
A swath of purple for a shawl
Little tricycles with their wheels turning
Waiting for someone to come and play
The pain of losing you will fill my sails
And carry me to the furthest shore
I will cry about this one day
But not until it has passed me by
By like the sunken flower when
She realizes she is a lost toy
When I realized you didn't love me
That you were intended for another
Judge ye not, taught Jesus
When he looked into your eyes
But I smile when I think of your suffering
And so I am letting you go
It is a lonely city
People pass each other by without speaking
There is so much unsaid
That people live behind closed doors
When I see you curled up into the fetal position
Especially when your body is cold
That is the instant that I am sure I did the right thing
For I cradled you close to my body
When you needed nourishment, I fed you
When you were scared, I held you
When you cried , I comforted you
And when you needed to grow, I released you
To fly in the wind like a dandelion spore
To find your place under the moon
Wherever you land, to go as far as you can
To discover the one that you love
The salt sprays breaking where you stand on the bow
Gazing out to sea
Lost and without a comforter
Will you be okay on your own
Little chocolate cakes with frosting
That we eat together looking into one another's eyes
God's confetti explodes all over me
And I brush it off quietly
I am pulling carrots from the soil
The soft sandy soil of my vegetable garden
The roots give when I pull them up at their base
They have frost on their leaves for the winter
Potatoes and carrots for the winter
And spinach leaves and onions
Sage and half a lemon stuffed into a whole chicken
And roasted in the oven
A little garlic in butter and salt
Poured over noodles and served in a bowl
Your hair falling down around you like a shawl
Like a lady living in luxury
Good food, soft clothes, clean home
And guests to shower you with friendship
When you lift your eyes gently
I know that I am doing the right thing
Little sapphire hearts that hang like stars
In my ears like tears that I never spoke of
Tears that were never noticed or never fell
The reason I smile so rarely
Yellow and black butterflies with zebra stripes
Pickles on meat sandwiches
Little gulls going up and down the beach
Being washed away by God's patient swells
Bells on the feet of birds and rabbits
Little mice that crawl up and sit in your lap
Queen anne's lace spanning the meadows
Blowing up and down in the wind
Oat grasses waving in the breeze
The laughs of children in the air
But when you look, there are no children
Frogs croaking from the muck of a green pond
Leopard frogs with golden eyes
Marble floors with green, blue and pink roses
Stones cut in the shapes of petals and leaves
Lollipops with ribbons tied around their sticks
Candles in glass lanterns at night
Feather bouquets with blue glass beads
Pink ribbons pulling hair back from the forehead
Turtles slipping under the surface of a pond
And you sitting across from me
Pandas when they reach for more bamboo leaves
The river when she cries
River blowing down her veins
Pouring out that which forgets all things
Your lamp will be on all night
Your candle will keep out the dark in my heart
Little green fish in a clear glass bead
Gingerbread house with a gumdrop path
Icing piped on for a roof
And sealed between the cracks
Little dolls thinking to themselves
Watching you from the corner of the room
Mimosa leaves pressing their leaves together
When a dark shadow enters the room
Your path leading into the woods
And my house off in the distance
Village lays low and prayerful
As Christmas draws near
Cold rain falls down in a sad way
The rain attempts to wash away pain
Although an evil thing has drained the storehouse
Yet we are still alive and singing
The rustle of the grasshopper wings
The creaking of the stair
People wander in and out of this place
The road beyond here leads on and on
Soft pink and blue teddy bears
Sweaters that are large and comfortable
Black pants and a pair of mukluk boots
The sound of jingle bells in the night
Cats when they sleep full of fish dinners
When everyone's in from the storm
The trees when they think softly
And one brushes by them without a sound
Gentle paths that lead around the front steps
And wander into the village
Pearls draped among silk flowers
Sitting in the corner embroidering
An electric fireplace at the foot of my chair
Warm slippers after a hot bath
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